Post Fourth of July

"How about after we swim I teach you binary math, that's computer math," says Bryce, a six year old. And for the record, he really does know binary.

I think my favorite part about the fourth of July was when I fought the Marsians with Bryce and his little sister, Lilly. It was a long fight but we won the battle. And the sandcastle we made was pretty cool. Not as neat as the high tech the picture, but it was still great. The fire works on the beach weren't much to speak about, we couldn't really even see them through the smoke. But it was good seeing my friends. And my Aunt Cynsa, her hubby, her daughter Sarah and her friend were down. I haven't seen them in years so that was fun. My aunt is a crazy woman, but she keeps things interesting.

I've known that Columbia is my home but I was unaware just how much Charleston is not longer my home. The big sign for me was when I went there and I got homesick. I longed to be back here in Cola. And here I am, home again and with a car! My big bro. just gave me his car because he got a new one. Granted the car he gave me is a little...not ghetto...just different. Brittany Jo says that its flaws gives it character. And it is a stick which I haven't driven in years and never was very good at. I'm going to practice driving around the parking lot when no one is around because people will laugh at me. Heck, I'm going to be laughing at me. The main point of me bringing the car here was so that I can help out with a youth group. I've had many wonderful mentors growing up and I think that it is about time that I poured into some younger ladies. I'm looking forward to it.

I had started a xanga site but only wrote about three entries. And I want to post one below that I wrote June 29th just so that it will be here when I want to read it:

Okay, Frog, its time for you to meet man's best friend..not you puppy, the TV." -Xander (a seven year old I babysat who is half animal, or so he says but I'm not suppose to tell anyone. And he says that woman's best friend is stuffed animals.)

So much is going on right now. Definitely an internal battle that I am always at war with. My flesh is so strong and I feel like I'm losing this battle. What scares me the most is that at times I think I do want to lose, or at least give up because it just gets so tiring. But then I think about it and NO! This is not who I am and it isn't who I want to become. I'm just gonna keep on trucking and fight, fight, fight. God has promised me certain things and I refuse to mess any of it up by giving in. And you know what else? I am good enough! God wants me for who I am at this very moment. Sometimes I get frustrated because I know that he deserves better. I can't give him the love and devotion that he truly deserves, I'm too broken for that. But he knew that before he persued me. I just seem to have problems getting that head knowledge to sink into my heart. Do you feel neglected, God? I'm sorry.

End Post

P.S. I don't feel so far from God anymore. He let me know that He is commited to me and that things are going to be okay.