People are becoming more attractive to me....not in a weird "I want to date everyone I see" kind of way, but in the way people become pretty as you get to know them. I've been having indepth conversations with many of my residents and as our talks get going I literally see them get more attractive during the course of our converstaions-both boys and girls. I think its because many of their hearts are so good or maybe because I have have some insight as to how God sees them. Whatever it is, I'm glad to be seeing it. And I swear, its not creepy. I do hope you understand.

All of the sudden I have a craving for a snickers bar.

How do crushes become rekindled so quickly? I'm fighting this one. I don't want to crush and I think that it is just a matter of will power. This boy is good, really he is. But it doesn't matter because now isn't the time to focus on a boy. At least not until God brings one along and gives me the go ahead.

I'm not good at giving advice, I'm really not. I can listen. If you ever have a problem and need someone to listen, just let me know. But if you need real good advice...well...I can try but I'm just not sure I'm the person to come to. But I'll pray for ya.

Snickers....I want one....

Dear Gummy Bears, Why do you make my stomache hurt? I like you so much. But I can only have you in small doses. Am I alergic to your gummy goodness?

Starting a house church makes me nervous...more to come on this topic...

bed.

Sun kissed cheeks...

I think I'm working up a tolerance to caffeine and this makes me sad. No longer does one cup of coffee give me the jitters. I think I may be coming to a point where I drink coffee everyday. I really don't want to but I'm so tired all of the time and I have to stay awake in class some way. Someone said that exercising could maybe help fix this problem. But who's got the energy or time to do that? I know, I know...Prioritize...

Went to the Lake this weekend on a C.O.A.L/Shack get away. It was good. What a great group of people. One of the funniest parts to me was when a group crowded around my foot taking turns trying to pull a splinter out of my foot. Thanks goes to Chris who finally got it out!

I've got homework to do and papers to grade. I fear that I am going to be so busy that I will miss the semester as it flies by me. I don't want to be in a crazy haze, scrambling to get things done and always feeling one step behind. I want to live life to the fullest and not waste time on meaningless things. I won't let a crazy schedule rule my life-that's no way to live. Maybe after this week I will be caught up on things...at least for a while. But no matter what, I'm making the decision to enjoy life!!

blast from the past...

I spent my first three years of college successfully avoiding most people from my high school. Its not that I had a bad time in high school, its just that most of my friends were older and out of school at the time so I didn't bond much with people in my classes. And since I was really friends with them in high school, I didn't want to waste my time with them in college. But for some reason, I am thrown into classes with a bunch of Wando Warriors. Its cool because we have something in common but we don't really know each other.

"I'm follicley challenged...."said my balding professor.

I made an all natural oatmeal, honey mask yesterday from some recipe online. It made my skin nice and smooth. I heart oatmeal....

In crazy news...my momma got herself a date! She hasn't had a date since nineteen-seventy something. Craziness.

I was talking to God and told him that I wanted to meet some foreign people. Why? I don't know, I guess for some culture. And today in swimming class I met two African ladies. They are so nice. One is from Ghana and the other from Liberia. Both of which are close to a place near my heart, Togo. They are going to teach me how to make cassava and some other African delicacies...mmmmm

Ben Larrew is back.

I miss Dayna, Laurie, and Erin.

There is joy joy joy....

in your presence, Lord. My heart overflows, the dark clouds they go, you give me dancing shoes. There is so much joy, when I am praising you. You spin me around, keep my feet on the ground, teach me to walk with you. You give me joy. ~Martin Chalk

Today starts a whole new day. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday (or the past few weeks for that matter). Strange things happen in the middle of the night. Luckily for me, deleverance was one of those things. When I couldn't do anything on my own, the Lord saved me from myself.

But you move me
You give me courage I didn't
know I had
You move me on
I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me on
-Garth Books

Thank you, Jesus, that you hold me in your arms and don't let me go.

Written on Thursday, posted now

Two hearts shared last night. They told their stories of things happened in the past. Things that cannot be changed, but repercussions of which are still felt more than twelve years later. These dark secrets, each of the hearts have told no more than three people, lose their power when brought to light. The enemy's lies are beginning to be recognized! Healing has already taken place in some areas, though the hearts are still tender. Some of the wounds have not been tended to and are just now starting to be bandaged.

Its reassuring to know there is a root to some of my misunderstood emotions and actions. I feel the effects of generational perversions. I have hope in knowing that there is power to break these chains and I don't have to live under bondage. My children will not be effected by these generational sins because I draw the blood line over there. It stops with my parents. I refuse to allow that crap to have control over my life. Freedom. I declare freedom and healing!

one more post

This was the first day in about a month that I've had nothing to do, at least not until late at night. I loved it. I slept in late, woke up for about twenty minutes then slept another two hours. I can't remember the last time I was able to sleep so much and just lounge around.

Watched some of the Little Mermaid... I think I will always love that movie. I remember when my Granny bought it for me when I was younger (thanks Fanny). I use to want to be Ariel so bad. Afterall, she had prettty hair, an amazing voice, and got the prince. Did you know she is only 16? I thought that was such an old age when I was younger. Now I think its way to young to change into another species, get married and fight a sea witch. But what do I know? I'm human, not half fish.

Hope Bell is amazing. Absolutely amanzing!! She's funny and kind and sweet and I love that I can be myself around her and she genuinly seems to take interest in the dumb things I talk about. I'm horrible at telling stories but she never lets on to being bored.

Danced at the Shack with B Jo and proceeded to get kicked out when the boys were ready for bed. Perhaps we overstayed our welcome...opps. I know I am a crappy dancer but I had a lot of fun and wasn't really self-concious while we were goofing off--I've come a long way.

truth

"Jesus you made a way for Moses, can you make one for me now?"-Two-Thirty Eight

My Daddy is great, the king of kings. He loves me for me. Why? I don't really understand it. But I know that he never gives up on me. Even when I hide who I really am in front of others He still sees through my crap and continues to not only love me, but pursue me. Wow! I really am loved. How could I ever throw that in His face? I don't deserve him, but there is this thing called grace so I am able to accept it anyways. I need to learn to except all that he is offering me and stop trying to push him away.

"My false and private self is one who wants to exist outside the reach of God's will and God's love-outside of reality and outside of life. And such a self cannot help but be an illusion" ~Thomas Merton

"Who am I" asked Merton and he responed "I am one loved by Christ"

I am loved

So many things are going on right now...so busy. RM training. Yep, I'm an RM (resident mentor).Still an RA by job, "they" decided that Capstone RAs should be RMs now...whatever. Residents move in tomorrow. Don't know if I'm ready for this. How could the summer already be over. I refuse to get worked up about school. I bought my books. This doesn't seem like it'll be that bad of a semester. At least I have swimming as a class.

Brittany Jo no longer lives with me. Sad, I know. The silver lining in this cloud is that we will one day live together again. In just one more year she will be my roomie. It won't be in a dorm though. We'll have a real apartment with a real kitchen and feed real stray cats (no offense Tibby-our Bates House homelss cat. Still love ya girl!).

I purchased a pale yellow baby outfit for my nephew due in September. Its the first thing I bought him but don't worry, I won't give him clothes for Christmas. I'm gonna be a cool aunt.

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much. ~Peter Ustinov

I might be a peer leader for an elementary education math class I took last year. Perks: experience, looks good on resume, could pay be one million dollars...muhaha.....actually, it really might pay $1,000 a semester. Thats exciting!!

Sugar baby watermelon--you must go to the farmers market.

"I haven't been spending alot of time with God lately but He's been spending time with me" Well spoken, Hunter.

Spray painted the front bumper on my car. It might not sound like it, but the spray paint actually deghettofies my car a bit. The bird crap all over my car though....

Wow, my thoughts are random. My life is random. Who's life isn't random? Oh the joys of life.

Love, peace and chicken grease.