Cloudy day-inside and out

A test brought me way down today because I felt like I failed it and it counts twice. I walked away with tears in my eyes, sorrow in my soul and a weight that felt like the world on my shoulders. I didn't feel much like talking to God after that, let alone praising him. But I did anyways because I didn't know what else to do. As I sang about God's love the weight on my shoulders slowly started to leave.

A boy about three sat on his father's lap on the steps of a church and waved at the cars as they went by. It felt great to be acknowldge by him as he said hi and waved to me too. I can see why children hold a special place in God's heart.

Afraid that I might get caught in a thunderstorm, my friend let me drive her car to the post office instead of mine. Its silly that my car won't start when it rains and extremely annoying at the same time. But I'm blessed by friends that let me borrow things: cars, shoes, tooth brushes, just to name a few. And it was nice driving the little red station wagon wanna-be.

Applied for my passport, a task I've been trying to complete for the past week and a half.

"Okay but its no big hairy deal" -Prof. Johnson (silly little man).

Finally had a chance to hang out with some of my residents for the first time in a long while. I'm tired of this job. Mostly I want out because I feel guilty for not being available for them. Its time for this season to end.

I tried to hide from the Lord last night; I felt too ashamed to be in his presence. He found me anyways. I cried, and still a bit ashamed to be before him, I sit like a child with my head hung low and my hands in my lap, afraid to make eye contact. I've heard it said that we can't disappoint God. I'm not so sure about that one. I hate that I hurt him...