I hate thinking of headings

I had a Spanish speech today. It wasn't too bad because class ran over and everyone had to leave so I presented my speech to my teacher and a boy who sat in the back of the class. He was there for moral support so that my teacher wouldn't bombard me with questions I wouldn't understand. I like nice people.

I love praying for my friends!!

Catching up with someone for the first time in a long time is almost always great. God is moving in exciting ways. It is so encouraging to know that God is speaking into others hearts the same things he is speakinginto mine. Lets get radical! Crazy radical and on fire, with passion in everything we do and love to wrap our neighbors in. We want more..more...more, of your presence, Lord. Whats the "and more" Jesus was talking about when he said we could do all that he did and more? I'm excited for whats to come and whats already here.

Jason Upton rocks my face off!!!

International House Of Prayer when I return from Argentina? I have the hook up of somewhere to stay when we go to IHOP. I'm so excited already.

Deciding on favorites is a hard thing to do. How do people do it?

i will wait for you, Jesus.

Cloudy day-inside and out

A test brought me way down today because I felt like I failed it and it counts twice. I walked away with tears in my eyes, sorrow in my soul and a weight that felt like the world on my shoulders. I didn't feel much like talking to God after that, let alone praising him. But I did anyways because I didn't know what else to do. As I sang about God's love the weight on my shoulders slowly started to leave.

A boy about three sat on his father's lap on the steps of a church and waved at the cars as they went by. It felt great to be acknowldge by him as he said hi and waved to me too. I can see why children hold a special place in God's heart.

Afraid that I might get caught in a thunderstorm, my friend let me drive her car to the post office instead of mine. Its silly that my car won't start when it rains and extremely annoying at the same time. But I'm blessed by friends that let me borrow things: cars, shoes, tooth brushes, just to name a few. And it was nice driving the little red station wagon wanna-be.

Applied for my passport, a task I've been trying to complete for the past week and a half.

"Okay but its no big hairy deal" -Prof. Johnson (silly little man).

Finally had a chance to hang out with some of my residents for the first time in a long while. I'm tired of this job. Mostly I want out because I feel guilty for not being available for them. Its time for this season to end.

I tried to hide from the Lord last night; I felt too ashamed to be in his presence. He found me anyways. I cried, and still a bit ashamed to be before him, I sit like a child with my head hung low and my hands in my lap, afraid to make eye contact. I've heard it said that we can't disappoint God. I'm not so sure about that one. I hate that I hurt him...

Is it really only monday?

I love the girls that God has placed in my life! I have amazing friends (boys and girls). I think that people are a lot more unique than they give themselves credit for. And why can't people see just how special they are? Sometimes I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, or better yet, through God's. I think you'd like yourself a whole lot more if you knew how much other people admire and like you. I wish I could spend more time with you because I always cherish or precious moments together.

Mitch at Cool Beans is so NTO. I was only trying to be nice. It can be nice studying at Cool Beans and all but I absolutely hate the way it makes me smell. My hair reeks like cigs and nastiness...bllaaahhhh.

Today I took a nap on my floor because I was afraid that if I took one in my bed I wouldn't wake up. The floor isn't cozy and that makes me sad.

Is it strange that a friend hacks myemail account to send prank emails? Good thing I don't have anything to hide huh? By the way, the password is not cinnamon broom.

*Insert funny/cool comment here*

I'm spent...

To others...

I am not a wordsmith that can make words flow together in a beautiful way. I stumble over my sentences and have a hard time expressing my thoughts in a way for others to understand. My writing is simple and choppy and my spelling and grammar is lacking.

I have not been blessed with musical ability that can bring others joy. I am tone deaf and mess up the words to songs often. And as far as playing an instrument....that requires rhythm which I was born without.

I do not have the grace to be a dancer. I am awkward and stiff. I don't know what to do unless I mimic others, and I can't even do that very well.


I am not a genius. I can get by in classes and I know some things about things, but I don't know much. I am what my teacher calls "pro noun challenged." I can't remember the names of people, places or things. Information doesn't stick in my head very well so I don't know how I manage...

I am not gorgeous by the world's standards. I don't have the "ideal" body type or physical features. I'm not ugly either; I guess I am the norm.

I am not the funny one in the crowd. Don't ask me to tell you a joke, I don't know any good ones. I suck at telling stories and very rarely do naturally hilarious things.

I am not ______. I suppose I could go on forever because by the world's standards I don't amount to very much...

I am a child of the King above all kings. I am a princess "born into royalty; my clothes are of velvet, my crown of integrity." In you, Daddy, I find who I am. In you alone I am complete. I am good enough and I am great. You define me and give me purpose. In your eyes I see everything I want to be, in you I am whole. When I look to others I don't measure up, but when I look to you, I am not lacking. I don't have to be good with words, you understand my very being, you know the secrets of my heart. You know my thoughts without me having to explain. My songs are music to your ears and you like to hear me sing and fumble on the guitar, my worship is adored by you. I am free to dance: before your throne, in your arms, or just in your presence- you give me freedom to move. You have created me and you know me better than I know myself. You not only love me, but you like me too. Thank you for liking me, I need that. You give me worth, you give me life.

Its been a long while since I've posted. I've gotten so busy that time has passed by very quickly. I hate when that happens because life is so short as it is.

My brother is starting to recover from the accident but its going to be a long road. He called me yesterday just to see how things are going. It was the first time that i talked to him since he got out of the hospital. Sometimes I forget how much I love and appreciate him. Did you know that he gave me his old car a few months back? Yep, just gave it away expecting nothing in return. That boy would give you the shirt off his back!

I had a bad dream about a close friend the other night that left me unsettled. The next day I felt sorrow everytime I thought about her and prayed for her often. Later that evening she told me that she had needed a lot of prayer that particular day..Funny how God works sometimes.

At Shack on the Lake I decided that I wanted to start using a certain tea for my quiet times, although I didn't have any idea which tea it would be when I made the decision. I've settled on a particular one and Bjo was kind enough to buy me some of it (she's thoughtful). The tea that I'm using has a lot of symbolism to me but I didn't realize it until after I had chosen it (actually, I think God chose it for me). It has a bit of a bitter taste that can be eased with some honey but I kind of like the bitterness of it. I think it reminds me just how sweet God is.

I'm learning to embrace and love the way God has created me, something I have struggled with for a very long time. I know it might sound trite, but i like that God has given me the kind of personality that likes to clean. I mean, I truly enjoy cleaning my bathroom and I can let me room be a mess for only so long. Theo says that I'm like this because I am a strong melancholic. At any rate, I like that about myself. I'm excited to learn what else I actually enjoy about the way God has designed me.

I want to live a crazy and bold life. I'm not there yet, but thats what I want some day. I don't want a mundane life, I can't bare the thought of it. I want to be crazy for the Lord in a way that won't distract others but will bring glory to his name. I want more of him!!